i can’t believe it’s 2014 and there’s still no gay romantic comedy about vin diesel and dwayne johnson falling in love
They raise a gaggle of kids undercover working for a gov’t agency together
Have you seen a Toco Toucan hop down stairs lately? Or a Keel-billed Toucan bathe with a glass of restaurant water?
Toucans are so great! The best part: that huge schnoz of theirs? It’s made of a hollow honeycomb-type structure and is incredibly light weight! Their diet is primarily fruit-based, and there is nothing they love more than to chow down on some grapes or other fruits. The downside of this is their poop is almost 100% liquid (heads up). They are very active and their characteristic hop is nearly as endearing as their large beak - however, they’re much more intensive to care for even than other parrots, and so they’re not great pets.
Toucan Sam of cereal fame is based on a Toco toucan.
Me on Facebook: Hey local people only, [question]?
958600 comments: LOL I’M NOT LOCAL, BUT [fucking irrelevant answer]
JESUS NO SHIT
Seriously I get it when it’s just comments like “good luck” or “Have you checked [source that might fucking help]”, non-locals CAN be useful. BUUUUUT it’s always when I’m like “hey local people I need a ride to a place at a time” and 78978 assholes gotta be all “LOL I WOULD BUT 1500 MILES IS PRETTY FAR” OH MY FUCKING GOD IT’S OKAY TO JUST NOT COMMENT, AUGH
"What’s this?" Jane asked, her eyes lighting up. She picked up the grapefruit-size orb and stared at it intensely, then laughed with delight as it began to emit a soft, golden glow.
"Do you truly not recognize it?" Thor asked with a smile. Her eyes narrowed, playfully suspicious, and he chuckled. Jane Foster was magnificently fierce! "In Midgard, you would call this a ‘lightbulb.’" Jane dropped the globe in surprise. Thor caught it deftly and replaced it on its stand, and offered Jane his arm. "Shall we continue? I’m sure there are many other things you’d like to see." She smiled ruefully and walked on her own alongside him.
Oh, what a wonderful woman she was! Fierce as Sif, kind as Frigga, and more wise (if that were possible - Thor didn’t want to think about it too much) than even his father, in some ways. Jane was perfect, flitting about with all of the Midgardians’ usual speed. It was fate which had brought them together, the greatest fate in the Nine Realms.
A crash echoed off the columns in the hall ahead. Jane reached absently for Thor, who took her hand gently and drew her to a stop. “Stay here,” he said. “I am sure it is nothing, but I will take a look to make sure of it. I do not want you to be injured, Jane Foster.”
Before he could investigate, though, the source of the noise became apparent. Loki sauntered around one of the near columns, a lazy grin on his face, looking for all the world like the king of all cats.
"Ah, brother!" he cried. "How marvelous! I had hoped to find you - there’s someone I’d like you to meet!" His eyes darted to Jane, who Thor was surprised to see was just behind him, glaring. "Ms Foster, it is a pleasure." Jane said nothing, merely stared coldly at the man who had tried so hard to destroy her world.
"As you will." He gestured, and a tall, slender young woman walked from behind the column to join him. Her eyes were brown and wide, but there was no fear in them. Thor’s own eyes narrowed.
"What is the meaning of this, Loki? You know Father’s edicts regarding Midgardians in Asgard." Loki raised an eyebrow and glanced significantly at Jane, whose glare grew even frostier. After a moment, Loki took the woman’s hand and led her forward.
"Brother, it is my distinct pleasure to present Queen Susan Pevensie, the Gentle, of Narnia, by way of London." Loki gave a flourishing bow, and Susan courtsied deeply, perfectly, easily, as though she’d been raised in the courts of Asgard.
"My lady," Thor replied with a less elaborate bow. "I am Thor, son of Odin, King of Asgard."
"Please, call me Susan," she said. Her voice was full and rich and low, and there was something musical in it, and something which said with certainty that Thor was an equal to her. She must be a powerful woman in this… Narnia, Loki had called it?
"I will ask you again, brother. Why is she here?" Susan looked to Loki with something like hope in her eyes. Thor had an inkling of things then, a moment of particular clarity. "Have you told her you love her?"
"For someone as stereotypically heroic as you, Thor, you are woefully unromantic," Loki replied. "And no, I have told her no such thing. One cannot love without trust, and the Lady Susan and I have just met." His voice lowered to a loud whisper. "You see, brother, I have told her all about you, and about Jane Foster. She is eager to see someone from her world - it seems she’s been hidden in a lion’s tower for decades!" Susan smiled cautiously at Jane, who nodded and smiled back.
"More importantly, though, brother, I wanted to prove to your father that you were not the only royal son who could attract a Midgardian girl with a plain name. Queen Susan is my guest, at the moment, and I hope that one day, she will agree to be my bride. We will be Loki and Susan, and Thor and Jane. Plain and grand, all in one. Asgard’s princes should have nothing but the best, and these two have succeeded in their lives despite their unremarkable names." The tomcat grin was back on Loki’s face.
Jane and Susan’s faces were perfectly blank. Jane’s eyes blazed like an inferno, though, and Susan’s had become twin frozen lakes. The two women looked at each other and, though they said nothing, they clearly were of one mind. Jane looked up at Thor expectantly.
Mjolnir hung from his belt, as always. It was a simple matter, really, and everything happened all at once. In one motion, he closed the distance between himself and his brother and swept upward with the great hammer. It took Loki under the chin. Thor watched as his brother sailed through the air and came to a crashing halt against one of the huge stone columns lining the hall. Only those who were worthy could wield the enchanted hammer, but Mjolnir had seemed to act on its own in striking Loki for his remark. Thor shook his head and replaced it on his belt.
He turned to Susan, whose face was now open disbelief. “I did not mean to frighten you, my lady,” he said sheepishly. Loki was not stirring. “I will leave you to your own counsel as regards my brother, my lady, but I will also caution you that Loki is only ever interested in Loki. Anyone else is a pawn in his schemes.”
"Thank you for your consideration," Susan replied. "I… I must go to him now. He will need assistance." Jane started toward her, but Susan waved her away.
"If you will be in the city for a few days, we should arrange a meeting," Jane said instead. "I’d be glad to have some normal company for a change." Susan smiled in reply.
"It would be my pleasure. Thank you, miss."
"Please. Call me Jane."
"Thank you, Jane." Jane hadn’t spent her life at any type of court and had only education from movies for it, but she gave a teetering little curtsy before she turned back to Thor. "Let’s continue, then, shall we? I’m sure there are more than just lightbulbs waiting to be discovered." They walked down the hall, arm in arm, together.
Susan turned from watching them to looking at Loki, huddled on the floor where he’d landed. Her suspicions were growing stronger by the minute. What had she gotten herself into? Who was Loki, truly?
Anything, though, would be better than the chains in which Aslan had placed her. She padded softly across the hall to Loki and cradled his head in her lap. “Wake soon, sir,” she said softly. “There is much to see here, and you will show it all to me.”
Oka, I plan on following everyone on tumblr
Please reblog so I can make this happen
SIGNAL BOOST THIS THING!!!
well if this is true, you shall be the one who is the one who is the one t discover whether tumblr has a following limit.
i want to see if this will break the notes
Barahir, you are a rainbow boa, not a ball python. Your brother has filled that niche quite well.
Barahir: I am a rock you cannot see me
i almost scrolled past this - admiring all the while - until i saw your comment. i laughed loud enough to make Wiley-cat jump out of a sound sleep. at 5am. :P
Anonymous asked: so what youre saying is that you support cis people? after all theyve done to oppress you as a "queer" individual?
Yes. I do support cis people. Just in the same way that I would support anyone else. If you are born cis, you cannot help that fact. You aren’t born into hatred. Being cis isn’t wrong. At all.
Have I been oppressed by cishet individuals? Absolutely. I’ve had the shit beat out of me all through high school because of my sexuality. I’ve been beaten, abused, held down, denied employment, and raped for who I am. By cisgendered, heterosexual people. But that doesn’t change the fact that my father is cis. My mother is, too. My friends are. My classmates. My roommate. My girlfriend, for fuck’s sake, is cis.
Just because I have been wronged by some, does not give me the right to hate all. I hate some. Not, by any means, all.
I hate those that have wronged me as individuals. As specific people, who have done specific wrong to me. My rapist was cisgendered. But, so is my eight-year-old niece.
In short, Anon, yes. I absolutely support cis persons. Why? Because being born with uncontrollable traits is not grounds for hatred, under any circumstances.
Two of the three boys that beat the shit out of me in high school, consistently, were black. Does that give me the right to hate all black men? Absolutely not. Do you see where I’m going with this, Anon?
No matter the circumstances, hating an entire group of people based on immutable traits is wrong. When you do harbor these prejudices, you are no better than those you claim to be fighting.
what? rationality, on this site? what a concept